Broken

Feb. 28th, 2017 10:56 pm
lonemagpie: like it says (fuck it)
Separate from the events of the convention, the weekend was interesting test of the state of my health. Not having control what's in the stuff I eat, coupled with a buggering up of routine, and random rather than programmed amounts of activity and stresses meant my blood sugar was all over the place (not into dangerous levels, but inconvenient) - so I must watch out for that any time I'm away having meals in hotels for multiple days.

I also at one point was looking for a particular person, was pointed to where he was, and, because of the colour of his jacket in a dark room with flashing coloured lights, walked straight past him because I literally couldn't see him in that colour/shade environment of a disco. Which means I think, even with the eyesight improvement, next time they ask if I want to register as partially sighted I might actually agree to do it.

I also know a lot of people who have mobility issues and lack of spoons, and was somewhat shocked, to see by direct interaction and comparison, that by Sunday evening I was as bad (with my left foot, whose heel I busted 30 years ago, as well as the blood thing). Cos I'm usually fairly... Able. I mean, I run around fencing and fighting in medieval armour, for fuck's sake...

So, I have to admit, though the panels and talks and stuff I did at the convention were great fun, health-wise that was a pretty disatrous weekend.
lonemagpie: Craig icon (007)
Ah, another of those "not a resolution, but a normal thing I've now been restored enough to get back to" that today (being Twelfth Night, and the decorations are down) is appropriate to go back to- the minimum daily word count, put ahead of hobbies and stuff, certain people (who I'm married to, especially) take note. Traditionally it was 2000 words, but has historically varied up past 5-6k when I was on a roll, albeit not for about 18 months.

So... (Well, I say that, but have surgeries again next weekend, so fuck knows how efficiently this'll work, depending on what they do then.)
lonemagpie: robot maria (robot maria)
For those wondering, that's the fourth of the initial five double eye injections down. I'm now missing only about three letters of the entire chart from the vision test beforehand with the right eye, and six or so with the left. They did manage to hit a vein in the right eyeball, so it now looks like the bottom half of the white is filled with blood (this doesn't show from the inside, nor is there any discomfort apart from the usual in both) - I wonder how many ebola scares I'll cause in town.

On the diabetic front, they looked at the numbers, still happily in the sixes, and sent for a blood test to check the three-month score (so I didn't hear that at the time, as a different department had borrowed the machine) - the plan is now to discharge me to the GP, do six-monthly blood tests, and prescribe tablets if the numbers creep up. In short, then, my oancreas is happy to continue to work with the right diet and exercise.

Then on the way home the first bus I could have got was over 10 minutes late, and so in such a hurry that the cunt didn't bother to stop for me.
lonemagpie: Craig icon (007)
Back from diabetic appointment. They weighed me (twelve stone two in indoor clothes and shoes - rdead centre of the healthy weight for my height), saw that three-month blood sugar reading was bang in the middle of healthy normality ( 48 is diagnostic level, at the beginning of the year it was 42, and today it was 45. And now a third Consultant confirmed that my eyes went off a cliff this year because of getting that too well too quickly - though I was able to read the control-test Buffy book in my pocket while waiting, which I couldn't do three weeks ago) and remained a littl confused about how long the diabetes had been there. Given the options of a couple of decades according to my eyes versus a year or so according to my liver, they split the difference and opted to fill in some forms with "eight to ten years" because they had put something, but admitted basically "we just can't fucking tell with you" (not in those exact words, but...)

I repeated that unusual runs in the family.

Anyway, so they decided that they they reckon I've got it firmly nailed with diet and exercise (to some surprise and impressedness) so have this plan: Halve my insulin dosage for a week, because they're very very convinced I no longer need it, then talk to them next Wednesday, and if mytesting averages haven't shot up (which they say they'd be exceptionally surprised if they did), they'll then stop it entirely for a week. If all goes well and my averages still stay level, they'll sign me off as controlling it rock steady with diet and exercise (which means I'll lose my prescription charge exemption when it expires in 2020, but I feel guilty having one anyway), and if the numbers do anything a little weird they'll prescribe tablets rather than insulin.

So, there we go... Touch wood, all being well, they reckon I won't need actual treatment for the diabetes after another week or so. Though obviously I will still be getting lots of eye surgeries and injections, and they'll still want to shove a camera down me every few months.
lonemagpie: gojira patronus (gojira)
Monitoring how my eyes are going, I fee; they somewhat bottomed out about three or four weeks ago, in terms of cobwebbing and interference with resolving text. The cobwebbing has reduced by around 60% from its worst since starting the tablets, and my reading-vision (if that's the right term) is better this week than it was a week to two weeks ago, though still worse than it was a month ago, (I'm comparing against the same book every few days, so I know I'm not being led astray by different types or fonts). So, that's somewhat reassuring, and I'm hoping the various treatments will continue to recover things.
lonemagpie: gojira patronus (gojira)
Interesting... I

almost don't want to think my reading vision has slightly improved this week, because part of thinks that if I think that, then on Friday the opthalmic consultant will tell me "no, they're worse now, but maybe your brain has adjusted" or something like that, but.... I realised when watching that last Game of thrones dual-wielding video I posted (sans glasses) that I could read the subtitles in the fight scene even though they were smaller than stuff I'd been having trouble with. So, I went and got from my coat pocket the book I'd been carrying around, which, last week, I truly just could not resolve the text in enough to read, which I had been able to a couple of weeks before. And tonight, even though normally my reading vision declines with the lateness of the hour, I - not as easily as a couple of weeks ago - *can*.

I suspect this is most likely down to the tablets I've been taking since Thursday, as they're meant to encourage my eyes to reabsorb cellular material that has leaked it but shouldn't be hanging around in there, and it is definitely the case that over the past week or so (I also had more laser treatment last Tuesday, of course) the sort of faint cobwebby thing I'd been getting in the right eye has been reducing considerably in opacity..,

And I'm most genuinely surprised that I've noticed this past midnight - usually they're clearer in the morning.... I mean, I'm not suddenly going to be singing "I Can See Clearly Now" anytime soon - it's a tiny improvement in a very bad situation.... but it *is* an *improvement.*

Hell, I'm actually not leaning as close to the creen to type this as I was at the weekend. My face is maybe eight inches from the screen, instead of aout five.

Oh, yeah, I hadn't been swimming for a while cos the swimming shorts I had got some years ago were now far too baggy and would naver have stayed on, but since us diabetic types are supposed to stay active (as if the martial arts, fencing, armoured combat, and walking everywhere weren't activity) I finally got a new pair today. Huzzah. So since our local pool's weekday general swims have slots that finish 15 minutes before Lesley finishes work, I foresee a regular schedule of doing that before going to meet her....
lonemagpie: robot maria (robot maria)
Back from hospital and doped to the eyeballs. They did decide to install a few more upgrades, so I, based on last time, will doubtless be woozy for the rest of the weekend. Throat and gullet don't feel quite as raw as last time, so I guess theyve worked on a different bit of it.

On the upside, the gap till next time, they said, will be a whole six weeks - the longest gap yet.

If I'm being assimilated/Cyber-converted by stealth, I at least want to be Cyberleader and have the black handlebars.

For extra fun, my blood sugar before the op was down to 4.3, but at least that meant I got a couple of biscuits out of them afterwards...

Um, yeah, holding my head up to type is wearing after about five minutes. I wish I could get some of the sedative for home use - it'd be handy when Lesley snores. Guess I'll try to veg out to a DVD, but the chance of crashing to bed like last time is reasonably high.

What a romantic Valentine's weekend.
lonemagpie: Craig icon (007)
Well whatever demon was gunning for me last year can’t take a hint - spinach in the cheese tart… (the cook running over going “go easy on the cheese tart, it’s got spinach i- Oh fuck.”

Fortunately an immediate massive antihistamine shot from a fellow allergic at the table stopped the cramps and pains just as they were starting to burn, brought down the heart rate (no, I don’t like arrhythmia at 180 bpm), and so far prevented any swellings beyond a bit round the right eye, which has since gone down. (the nearest hospital was 20 minutes away, which, a doctor on site told us, was too long if the antihistamine overdose hadn’t worked and I went into full anaphylactic shock.)…

The paint smell thing has started though. I guess from here on in i'm carrying a fuckload of the strongest antihistamines i can find whenever i'm going to be eating out

And, making properly sure that the first full week of 2016 ends in the same vein as my 2015 was, we got home to find an appointment for an Endo surgery next saturday morning. whoop de fucking do.

Otherwise, the weekend was Coronation - Too many Courts, which isn’t my thing, but there was fencing. I sucked at the tournament, but killed Baron Antonio repeatedly in his prize play (which is what I went to Coronation for - the torunament was just warm up sparring and I wasn’t really in the mood after the week I’d had), and was amused by the irony that the first thing he said to me was “it’s nice to see you vertical” and the last thing in his all-comers prize play section was me killing him with a dagger while horizontal… So I guess he’ll still prefer me vertical!
lonemagpie: gojira patronus (gojira)
So, the diabetes is Type 2, and apparently a relatively recent development. They reckon that - well, they reckon everything about this is unusual, and I was able to confirm that there's a history of "unusual" in the family, not a history of diabetes. Anyway, yeah, they reckon that I'd been pre-diabetic, in danger of it, for years, but not actually diabetic yet because I'd (quite coincidentally in a general attempt to stay fit and healthy) been controlling it. Until this year, when there was a lot of stress (which raises blood sugars), illness ((which raises blood sugars), injury (which raises blood sugars), allergic crap (which... you get the idea) and a course of steroids for that (which *really* raise blood sugars). And then in order to get toe most recent couple of books done, I'd trashed all that controle, skipped meals all over the place, fuelled on cola and cornflakes, and basically... Well, Boom.

However, this means that it too has sort of been caught early - so it and the liver both decided to launch all-out attacks before they were ready and established, which is always a losing move.

Anyway, so they looked at my glucose test record, and declared I've got it under "rock steady" control (the most common number I see is 7.4, down from 9ish last month), and asked if I wanted to a) try switching to tablets, but that the tablets are more for overweight pateints which I'm not, and that they probably actually wouldn't necessarily be right for me. (Unusual, remember). Or, b) stop taking the insulin and see what happens - well, no, cos I don't want any repeats of the bleeding to death on the operating table thing - or c) my preference, dial down the insulin dosage and see what happens. To be on the safe side, they're booking an appointment for the New Year so that the consultant can decide what to do next. Until then I'm to continue with the insulin since I don't want to "see what happens", and if the glucose numbers drop to the 5s and 4s give them a bell to get a lower dosage determined.

They also said I could just do glucoe tests on alternate days if i want, but I actually like seeing an objective run of how the system's functioning, so I'm happy to continue.

FWIW, apparently one particular blood test gives them the sugar reading for three months. When I went in, it was 58, which was just above the diagnostic band for diabetes. Today it was 47, which is *below* the diagnostic score for diabetes. Since there's no actual cure for it, I'm assuming either, a) the insulin is keeping it down, but can probably do with the dosage being reduced, b) it's some kind of false reading since by November 3rd none of the blood in my veins was actually mine, so I dunno if the continuity really works - but they probably thought of that, or c) the new regeneration cycle is working a little too well...!
lonemagpie: 10Doc whats (wtf)
Another thing I've noticed both while in hospital and after coming out is some sensory differences - improvements I'd say. I'm noticing the absence of certain things, which must have been symptoms of the internal bleeding and damage - for example a whooshing in my ears, and now that's gone everything sounds even clearer (though with misophonia that's a mixed blessing.) I've also noticed that a lot of things smell or taste slightly different to me - not better or worse, but just different, and actually more like I remember from 20 years ago. I'm not sure whether that's down to the insulin/blood glucose rearrangement, or something to do with the stopping of internal bleeding and recovery of red blood cells. (When I was taken in to hospital on October 28th, the doctors who first saw the blood tests said my red cell count was the lowest either of them had ever seen. At least in someone still breathing and talking.) Weird.

And on saturday I have the third endo surgery to look forward to... But I'm only supposed to be in the hospital for "up to four hours" this time...
lonemagpie: 10Doc whats (wtf)
Yeah, so… Sorry I’ve been away - Spent three days vomiting blood a couple of weeks ago, then on October 27th my liver defected to Da’esh and tried to cut my throat from the inside - in fact it exploded due to damage from heretofore undiagnosed diabetes, and, well, one bleeding to death internally on the endo operation table, two surgeries, multiple blood transfusions, and ten days in hospital later….

“Nobody dies harder than John McClane” the Guyz Nite song says, and I beg to fucking differ.

While I was in hospital, the advance copies of Fortune And Glory, which comes out in January, arrived. I signed one with a message of gratitude to the doctors and the ward staff, and left it in the ward’s day room so that staff and future patients might find it diverting.
lonemagpie: like it says (fuck it)
Hm, strange olive-oil smell coming in the open doors and windows, my eyes are stinging... yep it's definitely late spring. And a field about 20 yards away is full of that oilseed rape yellow shit.
lonemagpie: McGoohan as Number 6 (6)
medically, this:




(Someone said it was "what Zorro's dad had" and then specified Anthony Hopkins, though I feel the urge to point out that Banderas in this movie is his apprentice, not his son, and Hopkins was the actual Zorro)

I do have the right shirt, sword, etc, but, trust me, it doesn’t look anything like as painful as it fucking is!
lonemagpie: b7 finale (b7)
According to a couple of NHS pros I know, what we have here is ulnar nerve entrapment either caused by, or simply associated with a coincidental instance of, golfer's elbow. Even though I don't play golf.

Put it down to swords and whips, then...

Why does this never happen to Zorro?
lonemagpie: 10Doc whats (wtf)
is happening to my elbow and wrist? Trapped nerve of something between the inner point of the elbow to the outer point of the wrist - bloody hurts and now I'm typing two-fingered and left handed..
lonemagpie: b7 finale (b7)
puking my guts up at 4AM - not so much fun as writing about folks such as Zhang Guo Lao... So Asylum is off for us- if anybody wants the tickets, shout up

urg, the hot flushes, chills, and headaches stage, but at least I seem to be not still throwing up. Fucking bug…
lonemagpie: 10Doc whats (wtf)
Some Morrisons guy on The Great British Budget Menu just said "there's no such thing as bad food." Um, bullshit. There's high-carb, high-cholesterol, hydrogenated shit that promotes clogged arteries, heart disease, insulin fuckery, you name it...

I mention this as someone who got to 12st from about 13 by going low-carb (though who seems to be 12 and a quarter today, following a week or so of full-sugar Coke, following from a huge lot of rice at that Gurkha dinner.... Which is still well within the "ideal" range for my height and age and stuff, but, you know, 12 is a nice round number in a way that 12 and a quarter isn't)
lonemagpie: if only (by me)
And this is what happens when I spend a morning doing loads of metric-imperial conversions about space and stuff because all the science websites use metric and my publisher uses imperial….



(and the costochondritis/costo-chandral sep from getting in an awkward relationship with the arm of the couch last week, just where I'd previously had broken ribs, isn't helping...)
lonemagpie: guy from the cover of sanctuary (Default)
I now weigh somewhere under twelve and a half stone - maybe twelve and a quarter, depending on the wobble of the scales.

As opposed to the 13.5 or so I've been for many years - and half a stone lighter than I was surprised to find myself at back in August.

Lesley's also dropped three quarters of a stone somewhere in the past month, since switching to a higher protein/lower caarb diet with no sugary drinks...

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lonemagpie: guy from the cover of sanctuary (Default)
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