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Odd. True, it’s not that much of a difference – I have a small set of turn-on triggers (and large set of turn-off triggers) for guys, and a far larger set of turn-ons for women – but it’s there. It’s rare that it makes itself known to me, but it’s there.
When I was a teenager I hated showering at school because the sensation of water running over me turned me on, and I didn’t want any other boys thinking I was turned on by them. And I know it’s the shower sensation, because the same effect happened at home on my own. (Look, *everything* gives teenage boys boners. Literally everyfuckingthing.) But at the time I didn’t really notice or think that the one turn-on might be overriding any reaction I might actually have to anyone else, without realising it.
Over the 90s I did have one or two friends who I wouldn’t have turned down. And just last week I ran into one guy who hit all the turn-on triggers and, amazingly, *none* of the turn-offs, and had the biggest “dear god I want to eat him alive and fuck him silly” reaction I’ve had in literally 20 years. But, you know, happily married and faithful.
Functionally and effectively straight, but still, I don’t think I can really get away with calling myself “straight” when it’s not, well, exclusively so, however slight the exclusion. Hetero-romantic, yes, but what-sexual?
I dunno that I’d want to call myself Bi, though, because I know that, politically, that leaves out a variety of gender identities, and there’s arguments about transphobia and stuff. And I don’t know that I’d want to identify as Pan, cos there’s arguments about biphobia there…I dunno that really I should call myself anything other than “straight but not 100% exclusively”. It’s at least 80%, but less than 100%.
Then again, as I’ve often said, I think that there aren’t as few sexual or gender identities or sexualities as people think. Not two, not half a dozen, not fifty like Facebook now allows – I think there are about seven billion.
I.e. “your sexuality/identity” is exactly that: *your* sexuality/identity.
Or in this case, mine. And I don’t know I’m really into labels.
Oh well, enough rambling.
When I was a teenager I hated showering at school because the sensation of water running over me turned me on, and I didn’t want any other boys thinking I was turned on by them. And I know it’s the shower sensation, because the same effect happened at home on my own. (Look, *everything* gives teenage boys boners. Literally everyfuckingthing.) But at the time I didn’t really notice or think that the one turn-on might be overriding any reaction I might actually have to anyone else, without realising it.
Over the 90s I did have one or two friends who I wouldn’t have turned down. And just last week I ran into one guy who hit all the turn-on triggers and, amazingly, *none* of the turn-offs, and had the biggest “dear god I want to eat him alive and fuck him silly” reaction I’ve had in literally 20 years. But, you know, happily married and faithful.
Functionally and effectively straight, but still, I don’t think I can really get away with calling myself “straight” when it’s not, well, exclusively so, however slight the exclusion. Hetero-romantic, yes, but what-sexual?
I dunno that I’d want to call myself Bi, though, because I know that, politically, that leaves out a variety of gender identities, and there’s arguments about transphobia and stuff. And I don’t know that I’d want to identify as Pan, cos there’s arguments about biphobia there…I dunno that really I should call myself anything other than “straight but not 100% exclusively”. It’s at least 80%, but less than 100%.
Then again, as I’ve often said, I think that there aren’t as few sexual or gender identities or sexualities as people think. Not two, not half a dozen, not fifty like Facebook now allows – I think there are about seven billion.
I.e. “your sexuality/identity” is exactly that: *your* sexuality/identity.
Or in this case, mine. And I don’t know I’m really into labels.
Oh well, enough rambling.
