I have to find me
May. 12th, 2015 02:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lonemagpieThere's some truth to that accusation of being unreliable and untrustworthy. I never used to be, always had a reputation for reliability, bot professionally and personally - ask any editor still waiting on a late manuscript from me. What happened?
Professionally's the easy one: Had an agent, he didn't do any actual represantation of me, killed my career, then what I got it back I way overcommitted. When the contract famine ends, you feast on too much, which you'd get away with if not for the external factors that mess you up.
Personally, the last two years... bereavement, betrayal, family issues Lesley​ being... traumatised is the word, by an incident at work in late 2013), more family illness and being a carer, rounded off with bereavement again. All with, as I'm sure you've noticed, a side order of guilt It's been pretty stressful. And of course that also affects the professional commitments too.
Feels a bit weird now that the main thread of it is rounded off too. But at least they are rounded off. No more carer commitments. Time to not take on any more commissions until the backlog is cleared to manageability. Time for non-working hours to be me hours. I mean, I have a backlog of models to build, I haven't read a book for pleasure in about four months (and this is most unlike the usual me!). So, time to get me back, and not sacrifice myself to pursuers. Things will happen when they happen.
Professionally's the easy one: Had an agent, he didn't do any actual represantation of me, killed my career, then what I got it back I way overcommitted. When the contract famine ends, you feast on too much, which you'd get away with if not for the external factors that mess you up.
Personally, the last two years... bereavement, betrayal, family issues Lesley​ being... traumatised is the word, by an incident at work in late 2013), more family illness and being a carer, rounded off with bereavement again. All with, as I'm sure you've noticed, a side order of guilt It's been pretty stressful. And of course that also affects the professional commitments too.
Feels a bit weird now that the main thread of it is rounded off too. But at least they are rounded off. No more carer commitments. Time to not take on any more commissions until the backlog is cleared to manageability. Time for non-working hours to be me hours. I mean, I have a backlog of models to build, I haven't read a book for pleasure in about four months (and this is most unlike the usual me!). So, time to get me back, and not sacrifice myself to pursuers. Things will happen when they happen.