So, those gluten-free, lactose-free, low-carb pancakes

Right, I can confirm that the big banana + two eggs, in a blender = perfect pancake batter. Add a spot of salt, pepper, and cinnamon, and fry in butter or lard, and out come perfect pancakes with less carbs and no flour or (if you're lactose intolerant) milk. They don't actually taste very banana-ish either. Just pancake-ish.

I loved them, Lesley loved them, her mother loved them, and Her Mogjesty Katerina loved them. Bel and Cleo gave a "these are fucking banana, not dead pig, what the fuck are you trying to pull on us" look.

Sure you could fry them in whatever you like - sesame oil would be my other recommendation, flavour-wise. Butter or lard is just a better taste balance, and you don’t need a lot.

Needs a reasonably large banana, if you’ll pardon the expression - 8 or 9 inches at least. I suspect, given the similarity in structure, that plantain would also work.

Switching allegiance

Have thoroughly converted my anti-perspirant preference from Lynx - annoying sexist ads, overpowering perfume, association with teen douchebags - to Right Guard Cool - faint hint of talc, long-respected brand, goes better with the Imperial Leather shower gel...

Also stocked up on Steradent. Neither Lesley nor myself have false teeth, but if there's any cleaning product more effective at removing dark stains from crockery, cups/mugs etc, flasks, ceramic or plastic, I've yet to encounter it...

Falling still.

I suspect that what I may need to lessen or evade the whirlpool I’m feeling on occasion - and the lack of feeling - is to get back to taekwondo, and ideally have more … excitement, with live steel.

Or maybe that’d be a recipe for disaster… Bloody uncertainty.